how many is to many/ what happend to the date game

You never know where you might get your inspriation from. After talking to Mr. Floyd today and then watchin sex in the city i have to ask how many is to many. If you cant catch what i am talking about i am refering to sex patners. For as long as i can remeber i have alway been told never to sleep around, dont have to many males knowing parts of you that only you and god should know. But i have also been around long enough to know and see that it is only females that get that talk. Males get the talk that goes make sure you use a condom. Why is that?(another day topic) If i decide that i just want to be free and test the waters why must i be a ho. Why cant i simple be expressing my self thru sex. here is another question becuase we now live in a world where dating seems so over rated , when do you know is the right time to have sex. Now dont get me wrong i know that after just meeting a male in the club, that i should not take him home and screws his brains out, but when should I. Society has done a bad thing in my eyes. It has takin the art of dating and pushed it to the side, for social networks to do the work for us. What happend to gett a phone call askin you to go out, and all you can do that day is think about that your going to wear and how you hope the conversation is endless. Now all you have to do is say ask for his name on facebook or twitter.

bipolar season

I have not blogged in a minute, and it is not becuase i dont want to, but becuase i didnt have to words to descibre the feelings i have been having every single day for the last 3 months. Of course bad things happends to people and i am not excused from that. But i got up on my feet and for the first time in a LONG time i woke up every day feeling happy. Now people who know me knows that it has been a long time since i have been really happy. I still cant explain why but then again i dont want to know why i just loved waking up happy, going thru my day happy. Then a storm came thru and it hit me hard, out of no where i found my self wanting the days to go by so i didnt have to be around people, or think about the things that were slowly creeping up on me. I felt the happiness just go away without even a good bye note. I prayed everyday for a gleamer of happiness to come back and of course it didnt, that stop stayed ontop of me like a mother beating her bad 8 year old child. Things seemed to be getting worst and dont think after reading this that things are back to where they need to be becuase they are not, the only thing that has changed in my equation of life is i have moved passed the storm of my happiness and it is back. I not longer want to walk around feeling like i am carring the world, becuase i cant change alot of things that happend in my life, but i can learn and grow from them. EVEN stiuations that i have no idea what i was suppose to learn from them i still dont let them get to me, becuase I know there is a bigger plan for me and right now is the time i put in the work and not the time i know what the plan is. I have come to far to turn back know, and to be honest i dont think i would be able to deal with life is i stopped now. This morning i seen a white woman on the bus and she had her things with her, so i already knew she was homeless, now normaly homeless people dont get a reaction out of me becuase i know how it feels to be homeless and living in a sheltar with your mom, but for some reason looking at this woman made tears come to my eyes becuase i she was looking for a soap kitchen to get something to eat but could not find it and i wanted to give her some money so bad and i could not becuase i need money to get back and fouth to school with and i dont even have money for myself to eat. But the bus driver gave her $5.00 and that woman statred to cry. I felt her pain for the rest of the drive. I dont know why and i cant explain it but she touch me in a way that no one else i have seen on the streets has. The lord puts things in your life to see how well you will handle the situation. I hope i am not failing him becuase i cant afford to let my self down.