Getting thoughts together

Sitting at home with so many thoughts going thru my head. First i was watching a movie that reminded me about my life. I am 23 years old and i have never lived on my own. Lived with my mother, lived on campus, and lived with other people, but never with my self. Now don't get me wrong i love living with my boyfriend he is the greatest. But i don't know how it feels to live on my own. To be able to pay my own bills, and enjoy the company of my self. Sometimes i believe that i wasn't put on this earth to do anything big with my life, but to just be on earth like another useless human being. Second thought that is running thru my head i have no job i am use to having a summer job, something bringing in the checks. I just don't understand why i have to have these thoughts all the time. I am tired of being alone in the house all the time. No friends to hang out with, just nothing. I feel as though no one really gives a rats ass and to be honest i don't care cuz i care about my self and i am doing things i have to do in order to live right but sometimes i don't believe things are working out for me. I sometimes wonder why i stopped living my life so care free. I also wonder if i am doing the right thing in life.