things i cant tell people

This weekend was an eventful one, I relaize something about my self, i have become a home body and i never use to be this way. I dont have a life at all. I use to love going out with my friends and hanging out with males i was talking to. But now i dont do anything besides go to clas, look for a job, and go home. What life is that i use to make fun of my mother for always being in the house and now look at me, I have become her and i dont like it, dont get me wrong i love my mother but i dont want to be a house body. Now we have Mr. D, i have had my eye on him since last semaster but of cousre me being me i never did anything about it, but Friday he came back around and sit with me until my friends came to the resturant. We had a good conversation, and Saturday we were going to go out, but couldnt find a place to go, so we just stayed on the phone for 2 hours talking about stupid shyt, I had a good conversation with him, it felt nice cuz i was tired of talkin to niggas that had sex on the brain 24/7 and had no real conversation becuase they were letting there dick think for them. I was talking to tiffany Sat night and told her things i havent even told my best friend yet, things like i dont feel as though i need to keep talkin to the males i talk to because nothing is going to come out of them, and im glad becuase two of them i already had a relaionship with and i dont want to go back down that road ever again. And then the "Fuck-up" (as tiff calls him) is no longer keeping my attention the was he use to, and yes i stared feeling like this after he fucked up and instead of leaving him alone i just couldnt stay away from the dick. And yes i kno that is bad and i need to stop before i catch feelings again but the sex is so good i cant help my self, and i have no body to blame but my self. Then we have MR. D i just dont know about him, i told him i was intrested and we talked and talked but were on the same page when it comes to relationships which is a good thing we both feel like if it happends with some one then it will happend, but if not it is not the end of the world like some girls feel like. Now on to what i really want to get out. My mother is liein to me becuase i kno something is wrong with her and she will not tell me becuase according to her i have enough stress and i dont need more, but her not telling me is making me stress even more. I want to make it on my on and stand on my own to feet, but at the same time i want to go home and just lay next to my mom and talk like i use to do when i was little. But of course who am i going to tell this, no body will really understand the feeling i have right now. Its a shame becuase when i was young all i wanted to be was grown, and now that time has finally given me what i was always asking for, all i want to do is go back to the years when life was so simple, no bills, no stress , and no drama. But of course i can go backwards and i have to deal with what ever life throws my way.